Thursday, October 14, 2010

First Failure

Today someone I really love and respect slighted me. Slighted me so much without even bothering to really understand the situation that I was slighted over. It fucked me up. Fucked me up bad. Ruined my day and my night. Turned me into a fucking shitty mope and made me feel like never leaving the house again.

I dwelled on it all night. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake it off. It made me a drag to be around, and made me second guess myself.

Well guess what, fuck you.

For your stupid, thoughtless lashing out, I am going to work that much harder at this. I am going to write that much better. I am going to crank out whatever fucking story for whoever wants to put my shitty dribble out there for the world to see. I'm doing it because I'm good at it and it makes me feel good. If you really are choosing to not participate in this part of my life, well then its your loss. It's something to be proud of. Something that gets me through the lowest times and I'm sure is only going to make the high times even better.

So I'm going to be awesome, just to spite you. I am going to be unfuckingavoidable by the time I'm done. You're going to wish you didn't have to see me, my name, and my words everywhere and they are going to haunt you just as long as today is going to haunt me.

You may have won the battle, but I'm winning the war.

2 comments:

Lili St. Cynical said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
With Love, Nicole said...

Write your little heart out, my friend. We internalize so much, and it's so cathartic to get it all out there.

It's okay to not be okay.

xo