Hey everyone. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm sick. I spend most mornings throwing up stomach acid and bile, and rest of my day trying to live a normal life between fits of shitting brown, swampy water out of my ass and even more throwing up. I know, you couldn't be more jealous of me. Throughout the summer, I have cut all fun food and beverage out of my diet, spent two days in the emergency room, had cameras up my ass and down my throat, been put on tons of meds, been forced to sit out most activities, put my job on hold, and tested the love and patience of my family and friends. To say that it's been a bummer summer would be an understatement.
Seeing as how The Real Housewives of New Jersey has ended for the season, and Swamp People is only on once a week, I have decided to bore you all with a blog. In addition to giving myself a platform to blabber on about the stupid shit that makes up my daily existence, I am using it to log all the instances of vomiting and diarrhea I have throughout the day. Talk about bearing my soul for all to see, right?
Now why do this? Why count how often I puke and shit in a public forum? While the 6 year old in me always laughs at bathroom humor, I am relatively certain that I am suffering from Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. I know, it sounds like an awesome Carcass b-side from the Reek of Putirification lp, but alas it is a disease with all of the symptoms I currently have and is only diagnosed by ruling out major intestinal diseases and examining medical history. As anyone who knows me can attest to, over the last few years, I've gone to the doctor next to never and pride myself on treating my body like a doormat. So here's my attempt at keeping my own medical history. Couldn't hurt any more than the other poor life decision I've made over the years, right?
My older little brother Greg is giving me his ex lady's iPhone. Once that happens, I'll add pics. Probably not of vomit or poo, but I wouldn't rule anything out. So without any further fanfare, here are today's stats.
Vomiting: two fits. One at 2am, the other at 3:30pm, shortly after I woke up. This seems to be the most consistent time I throw up. You will read this in the oncoming days.
Diarhea: too many to keep track of. 15? 20? Not the best day to be my butt hole. That's for sure.
Thanks for reading. See you tomorrow.
3 comments:
Can't wait for the pics!
With all the vomiting and diarrhea, be sure to keep your potassium levels up! Eat a banana or drink OJ daily! Low potassium can be deadly, and vomiting and diarrhea will take it all out of you. In the meantime, I'm going to do some research of my own. Let's keep in touch. Love you.
Also, do you vomit/diarrhea after you eat or drink? Or is it just random throughout the day? Do you have any other symptoms? Fever, etc? The vomiting is definitely horrible but I'm mostly worried about the diarrhea, because it can seriously dehydrate you and rob you of important nutrients (which explains your two stints in the ER). I'm sure you're exhausted explaining the symptoms over and over again but I'm learning about all kinds of disorders so I'm hoping something will click.
And I'm assuming you've already seen a gastrointestinologist?
Sorry if I'm being too much of a mom, but some things will never change. xo
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